Early this year, 90 Day Fiance fans were alarmed to hear of abuse allegations against Syngin Colchester.
There was a lot that we did not yet know, and a lot of people waited to pass judgment until they knew more.
But there was never a question about Syngin’s wife, now his ex, Tania Maduro’s history with him.
In leaked texts, allegedly exchanged between Syngin’s accuser and Tania, Tania confirms that she had a similar experience.
When Syngin Colchester’s ex first spoke up to accuse him of abuse during their relationship, fans understandably didn’t know who she was.
Syngin did not address the allegations. He did not even acknowledge that they were made.
His ex, Tania Maduro, also did not make a public statement or otherwise respond, one way or the other.
While we cannot verify the alleged text messages that have circulated on social media, they appear to be of an exchange between Tania and Syngin’s accuser.
In a manner of speaking, they are messages exchanged between two of Syngin’s accusers.
Because as one ex describes her painful recollections of her time with the South African native, it looks like Tania saw the same side of him.
The initial claims of abuse towards Syngin went well beyond the things that viewers had already seen for themselves.
According to his ex, his drinking problem was not self-contained, but contributed to mental, physical, and sexual abuse.
She posted the allegations on social media as a warning for other women to not fall for his looks, tricks, or fame.
Based upon the coloring of the text messages, they appear to have been leaked from the ex’s device, not from Tania’s.
As these new screenshots show, the ex went into detail about being insulted and also physically injured.
She described being shoved, being hit, and having her phone punched out of her hand on multiple occassions.
From the tone of the messages in the screenshots, it appears that the ex was unsure if she was the only one on the receiving end of this behavior.
It sounds like Tania was feeling the same way, perhaps hoping that their relationship had been unique.
In an alleged message, she told the more recent ex that, yes, Syngin was the same during their marriage.
Tania expressed her sorrow and heartbreak over what the ex described.
She admitted that she had hoped that it was “isolated to our relationship,” acknowledging that this “is not the case.”
Just for the record … abusing just one partner is already an unforgivable act. Just one victim is too many.
Judging from these messages, it sounds like Tania had internalized a lot of misplaced guilt and blamed herself and other circumstances for any abuse that she experienced.
That is not how abuse works.
While sometimes, specific circumstances can impact who is and is not subjected to domestic violence, most abusers eventually show this side of themselves to every partner.
At one point, Syngin’s ex writes about him dealing a visible injury with a particularly vicious strike.
Allegedly, Syngin responded to this with laughter, even taking a photo as if proud of his handywork.
Tania responded to this by psychoanalyzing him, walking through his likely psychological process.
Over thinking and being excessively analytical of the causes of abusive behavior are a coping mechanism.
Given her personality, as a very smart but also a very nurturing and forgiving person, that is very consistent with who Tania is.
Unfortunately, people can drive themselves nuts trying to rationalize the horror of what was done to them by partners, parents, or other trusted loved ones.
Public policy-makers might need to understand evil deeds and their most intricate causes.
Therapists have to understand evil, both in patients and so that they can explain it to patients who are survivors.
But survivors themselves should know that they don’t always need to understand, or forgive.
As we noted before but are emphasizing again, we cannot authenticate these messages or the content of them.
One would imagine that Tania would speak up if there were fake messages attributed to her accusing her ex-husband of being a monster.
As it is, not even Syngin is denying the allegations. Our hearts go out to all survivors of abuse.
