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On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days Season 5, Episode 13, several relationships were at turning points.
Jasmine revealed new threats against her, causing real fears and rising resentment against Gino.
Ben and Mahogany’s vacation got weird after Ben spammed Mahogany’s phone … and her parents showed up.
Ella had a startling confession for Johnny: in her loneliness, she had slept with a friend.
Kimberly’s attempt to have a heart-to-heart with Usman about how she’s feeling went very, very poorly.
Memphis sat down with Hamza’s mother and a translator to have a much-needed conversation about their concerns.
Realizing that Mike was on the verge of leaving, Ximena displayed a sudden — but only partial — change in attitude that had Mike very happy.
… For a little while, anyway.
Gino Palazzolo and Jasmine Pineda
Jasmine is keeping up with her workout routine … and trying to very deliberately spend some time apart from Gino, something that he does not yet understand. When he comes in to just sit down and watch her lift waits for a bit, she’s annoyed.
She was threatened
According to Jasmine, an anonymous social media account sent her a threatening message, vowing to spread her nude photos all across the internet. She and Gino both assume that this was sent by the ex to whom Gino had leaked her photos, which means that Gino’s betrayal of her set this in motion.
Jasmine could lose her job
In the United States, there have been an alarming number of cases of people losing their jobs purely because someone else stole and exploited their nude photos. Jasmine fears that her teaching job in Panama will let her go once this revenge is exacted. All that she can think of to do about this is to cut off the blackmailer’s hold over her by sharing nudes herself, ideally to make money in the process so that she will still have income.
Gino’s response is so weird
First, Gino — who is unemployed — offers to support Jasmine if she is unemployed. That is sweet, but unrealistic. Does Gino have $3000 a month of extra cash lying around? (Weirdly, some on social media have interpreted this as Jasmine asking him for that much, which was not the case — she told him how much to highlight how it is unrealistic). Then, Gino suggested that Jasmine could just get another job.
That was the wrong thing to say
Jasmine was hurt by Gino’s suggestion that she should get another job. Teaching is what she does. That’s a specific passion and set of skills. It’s not like moving from one office job to another.
Gino tries, fails to give her space
After Jasmine clearly wants time to cool down (to her credit, she does seem to be working on her temper … unless production is editing to make her look more reasonable, which seems doubtful), Gino seems unwilling to wait.
Gino doesn’t know what to do
He keeps trying to fix it. Like, when Jasmine talks about how she’s feeling right now versus how she felt when she was all done up for the day that he arrived in Panama, he asks if she would like to get her eyelashes done today. It’s clear that he wants to make her happier, but he clearly don’t fully grasp what to say or even why she is as upset as she is.
Jasmine walks him through it
He needs to stop trying to find material solutions for all of her problems (especially since he is not a man of infinite resources) and actually show her, with his actions, that he understands what he did wrong and that he cares about her and will do better.
There’s one way for him to start
Jasmine asks to see Gino’s email, and he agrees. That is … a complicated topic. Certainly, partners who snoop in the other’s private conversations are toxic without question, but it’s hard to justify the couples who do consensual transparency on demand like this. It’s unsettling.
“What’s this s–t about Legoland?”
Jasmine delivers that eyebrow-raising line, forcing Gino to explain that he took his ex to Legoland. He did this six years ago — in 2014. But Jasmine’s issue is that he didn’t tell her about it, having previously claimed to her that he’d only gone on two trips with his ex.
To her, this is yet another lie
Gino insists that it simply slipped his mind, and that it’s unreasonable that she should expect him to remember everything from six years ago. Jasmine (who was in her twenties six years ago) says that of course she remembers.
Gino is fed up
He stands up, knocking over his chair in the process, and storms away. Well, he does his version of storming away, which is a slightly awkward walk with his back turned to her. (Honestly, knock over your own chairs, don’t do it at a hotel or restaurant)
Gino is having real doubts
He NOW characterizes Jasmine as having yelled and screamed at him over a 6-year-old trip (if she did, it wasn’t in this episode … but she has done this many times before) and is totally unsure if he wants to be with her. It’s weird that he’s this standoffish now, after he’s wronged her, but seemed to have fewer reservations when she was ACTUALLY screaming and yelling at him earlier in the trip.
Ben Rathbun and Mahogany Roca
Ben and Mahogany are on their vacation to a gorgeous little destination — keeping to separate hotel rooms, of course.
Last night got … weird
It wasn’t in person, but Mahogany began to receive text after text from Ben. By his own admission, it was probably “ten pages” of texts. The contents of them, pouring out his heart to her, were also … strange. She’s not sure what to think.
This is so weird
We know that Mahogany and Ben are both Christians who enjoy discussing their faith. We also know that Ben was raised in a cult. But clearly, even to Mahogany, what he’s saying here is too much. For that reason, she didn’t reply, instead waiting to meet him to speak in person.
But look who’s here
(Allegedly) surprising Mahogany are Jose and Silvia, her parents, who traveled there to keep an eye on their 22-year-old daughter on her vacation with a strange middle-aged American internet stranger she met three months ago.
What exactly does she see in Ben?
Maybe she listed more things that were edited out, but all that she is shown telling her parents is that she likes that she and Ben can discuss their shared Christian beliefs at length.
Hey, shouldn’t Ben be there by now?
No. Back in his room, Ben tells the cameras that he’s so put out that Mahogany didn’t respond to his (let’s face it, unhinged) barrage of texts that he is responding by not showing up to eat with her, and he also didn’t text her to let her know. Very healthy communication going on, definitely the foundation of a lasting and healthy relationship.
This is so weird
Mahogany and her parents realize that he’s standing her up (and doesn’t even know that her parents are there), so while Mahogany is processing Ben’s version of his relationship history as confessed the night before, her parents are just disapproving of him even more.
Ben wants to what?
Learning that her parents are there, he wants to sit down with them … without Mahogany present. This feels less like meeting her parents and more like a parent-teacher conference. It’s weird.
Ella Johnson and Johnny
Ella loves Johnny, but she can’t keep being strung along. Last time, she told Johnny that she bought tickets to Dubai, and that if he doesn’t meet her there, she will need to change their status to an open relationship because she cannot wait forever for him to keep crushing her hopes at the last minute. Now, she’s calling him to see if he’s going to crush her hopes again at the last minute.
Johnny tells her that now is not a good time due to the COVID-19 pandemic and the restrictions in place, so he wants to postpone until February. Folks, that is THIS February, as in just a few weeks before this episode aired. That’s a 7-month delay.
That’s way too much
Ella has her own confession, however. While Johnny was still dangling the possibility of visiting in front of her, a friend of hers came over to emotionally support her. The support led to cuddling, which led to sex.
Johnny does not take it well
He could have taken it worse, of course, but he admits that he would almost rather not know — even though Ella clearly felt that he has a right to know.
Johnny has a real fear that Ella will find someone else and leave him behind, and he does love her, even though his unwillingness to follow through on a trip to see her seems to indicate otherwise.
Johnny knows that he caused this
He hasn’t done his part in the relationship, and has been stringing along Ella even though he doesn’t mean to. He wants her to have faith in him, but that keeps getting harder as time goes on.
Ella has her own emotions to process
Frankly, Ella is crying a lot. Even if the editors are (certainly) doing her dirty by selectively showing footage so that it looks like she’s “always” crying, it’s still a lot, and she expresses her feelings — including how her loneliness is compounded by seeing couples out and about in public — to the camera. Honestly? A reality TV production crew is no substitute for a therapist.
Kimberly Menzies and Usman Umar
Kimberly has just spoken with a friend — who notes that Zara must have been a big deal to get a song from Usman, like Lisa got. She joins Usman, who is clearly trying to compliment her to put her in a good mood. It doesn’t work.
She didn’t know that it was going to be like this
Kimberly expresses herself to Usman, admitting that she hadn’t realized that he was going to treat her like a “friend” when she arrived. For the first week, he didn’t kiss her or sleep with her. She had to basically beg him to spend the night without those things. Usman seems to think that giving her yammy-yammy should have fixed all of that, but Kimberly hasn’t forgotten.
She put a lot of time and money into this
This is not how she expected to be treated or to feel. Yes, he slipped her his yam … and then he confessed that he had lied to her about Zara. For that matter, why would he invited her to Zanzibar to watch him film a music video about a DIFFERENT American woman?
He thinks that this is funny?
Clearly, Usman is reminded of Lisa’s complaints, but let’s remember that his song about Lisa was about Lisa — he just had a different woman dancing with him in the music video, because that is how all music videos work. Kimberly got lied to. It’s not quite the same.
Kimberly is not amused
She dashes her drink in Usman’s face and furiously storms off.
Usman is in shock
This is totally unlike what he expects, claiming that women in his culture are submissive rather than true partners, so he just expected Kimberly to accept what he gave her — emotionally and physically. An odd claim to make, considering how things went with his ex.
Usman feels disrespected
He no longer feels like having a romance with Kimberly, apparently.
Kimberly feels angry and sad
She feels used and she feels foolish and so angry that she’s holding herself back from just wrecking her hotel room.