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Amber Portwood: I Don’t Like Spending Time With My Kids, But That Doesn’t Make Me a Bad Mom!

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Amber Portwood can be a difficult person to defend.


Amber’s many brushes with the law, and her tendency to document her meltdowns on social media mean that her worst impulses are often on full display.


For fans of Ms. Portwood — assuming such people exist — that might be part of the appeal.


But it seems that most Teen Mom OG viewers are at least a little grossed out by the fact that MTV didn’t fire Amber after she attacked Andrew Glennon with a machete.


Of course, there are two sides to every story, and despite the fact that she’s been on reality television fior 12 years, Amber says she’s never really had the opportunity to offer her version of events.


So now she’s setting the record straight with a memoir entitled So, You’re Crazy Too?


Now, that title might lead you to believe that Amber is ready to come clean and speak candidly about the many, many ways in which she’s messed up her life.


But based on the latest social media activity from Amber’s co-author, Thea de Sousa, it’s more likely that the book will consist of Amber doubling down and insisting that she’s never done anything wrong in her life.


Now, Thea has a book to promote, so you would think that Thea would be trying to foster a positive relationship with Teen Mom fans.


Instead, she’s been going on the offensive and replying to just about every mildly negative comment that’s appeared on her Instagram account in the days since the book deal was announced.

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And some of the things that Thea has said in her new friend’s defense have served to make Amber look even worse in the eyes of her critics. 


For example, one person pointed out that Amber doesn’t seem to have much of a relationship with her son, James.


And when a fan brought that up in an Instagram comment, Ms. de Sousa offered a very strange defense.


“She has visits with her son every other weekend and it’s all she can handle because of her disorders,”  Thea wrote.


“She has joint legal custody of both her children… [she is] really trying to make a good life for herself and her kids. Nobody is perfect, and she is far from it, but you have her all wrong.”


The matter of Amber’s arrest on domestic violence charges also came up, and again, Thea defended her co-author with a bizarre counter-argument.


“Um that never happened,” de Sousa wrote, according to The Ashley’s Reality Roundup.


“There was no machete. It was a flip flop on a door after he got home at 2:30 a.m. with their two year old son. You really shouldn’t believe everything you read in the press,” she continued.


“She is one of the most misunderstood celebrities out there,” Thea insisted.


“I promise you I would be one of the first to condemn anyone who actually did that. It didn’t happen.”


Yes, even though Thea wasn’t there when Amber (allegedly) attacked Andrew Glennon, she claims to know more about the situation than anyone else.

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Hilariously, Thea insists that Amber didn’t didn’t attack Andrew with a knife but with a flip flop.


“It was a shoe not a machete. It was a flip flop with a small heel and the heel made tiny marks [on the door to the room Andrew and James were in]…any parent would have tried to knock that door down– he had her son,” she wrote.


“It was the middle of the night. He was–not in a normal state of mind…she was not trying to hurt anyone,” Thea continued.


“Amber picked up up a sandal with about a 1-inch chunky heel and hit him in the shoulder, causing him pain and redness and a light abrasion.”

Amber's Defense


As many followers have pointed out, the evidence seems to suggest otherwise.


And since that evidence includes an Affidavit for Probable Cause obtained by The Ashley back in 2019, we’re gonna go out on a limb and suggest that the police account of the incident is just a little more reliable than Amber’s.


“She keeps a machete with a sheath on it,” the affidavit states.


“Amber picked up the machete, took the sheath off and looked at Andrew with a look so as she was moving around the bed, he took [the baby] into the office and closed the door and put his foot on it to hold it close.”


So yeah, Thea is a little out of her depth on this one.


But hey, at least she’s letting potential buyers know in advance that Amber’s book will be full of lies.

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