Watching Season 2 of 90 Day: The Single Life means sitting through Jesse Meester and Jeniffer Tarazona’s relationship.
There are perks to it, of course. They’re both attractive people, and Jesse is always fun to hate-watch.
But it also means that we are subjected to his every creepy thought.
Jesse’s idea of a date night is a little unconventional. It’s very horny, but Jesse makes it so, so weird.
Jeniffer Tarazona is clearly looking for someone very different from her ex, Tim Malcolm.
She could not make that more clear.
They weren’t compatible, but Jeniffer takes it further — insulting Tim for not just trying to get into her pants.
In this sneak peek of this week’s new The Single Life, Jesse offers to take off his ridiculous tux.
“So I think it would be nice to get a little comfortable, you know,” he tells Jeniffer.
Jesse offers that he will “just take off the suit and everything.”
In the confessional, Jeniffer straight up says that she would be hurt and turned off if Jesse weren’t such a horndog.
“If I had to do the first move, I wouldn’t be interested,” she stated.
Jeniffer explained “because it will be boring.”
“It would be like Tim, which was my worst nightmare,” Jeniffer said. “Man up.”
We see that toxic ideas about gender and sex are alive and well in Jeniffer’s mind.
That’s clearly working in Jesse’s favor.
Jeniffer asks Jesse if there is a robe that she can wear after she takes off her own alluring outfit.
Jesse recommends that the two of them “wind down, relax, and do some yoga.”
We’d say that that’s a new line, but it’s not new at all … it’s basically just another iteration of Netflix and Chill.
(Before Netflix and Chill, the expression was “want to come over and not watch a movie?” It’s not new, folks)
But what Jesse lacks in novelty he makes up for in an inflated sense of self-importance.
Speaking to the camera, Jesse waxes philosophical about how he wants to get to know Jeniffer on a less superficial level.
“You don’t have to kiss right away,” he says. “You don’t have to make love the first night.”
Jesse adds: “I had that phase in my life.”
“Let me get to know you for who you are,” Jesse suggests, “and not let lust be our guide.”
Okay, first of all, who outside of a soap opera calls it making love exactly? In 2021?
Second, to not let lust be our guide is perfectly fine, but we could do without Jesse’s insufferably smug attitude.
Speaking of lust, Jeniffer is clearly checking out Jesse’s genuinely impressive posterior.
But if she was worried that all of his talk about deeper connections meant that tonight would be boring, she needn’t.
Instead, like a repressed adolescent nervously inventing reasons to be close to a friend, Jesse just gets weird.
Jesse has the two of them sit in their robes with their legs overlapping, his beneath hers, their faces inches away from each other.
“You breathe into me and I breathe into you,” Jesse instructs her.
It only takes seconds of this weird breath exchange for the two of them to start making out, of course.