And Katie Maloney is here to explain why.
As previously reported, Maloney and fellow Vanderpump Rules star Tom Schwartz announced the end of their marriage a few days ago… following 12 years as a couple.
“I never thought I would have to make an announcement like this. But I feel it’s important that I’m open about my life with you,” Katie wrote on Instagram at the time.
“After 12 years on an adventure through life together Tom and I are ending our marriage. This ending is not met with resentment or animosity, no sides to choose.
“We have deep admiration for one another that will always remain and we cherish our friendship.”
Schwartz later confirmed the split, and even took responsibility for it.
But who was really at fault for this break up?
“I realized that I had to really start prioritizing myself and my happiness as well. It just needed to happen,” Maloney said during on Friday via an episode of her You’re Going to Love Me podcast.
“That’s just what everything inside of me was saying, I thought it got to a point where I just felt like I was going to burst.
“For months, it was building up. I felt just disconnected. I felt like I was drifting further and further away.”
Maloney referred to the separation as a “tender topic” and added that she’s expound on what transpired down the line.
She also said the pair had been apart for about a month prior to this week’s announcement.
“It’s been emotional, for sure,” Katie revealed, noting that they “still live together” and are trying to handle the situation in a mature way.
“The transition so far is going really well. We’re just trying to navigate these steps together and really work on becoming friends in that sense.”
Was there some deciding incident that prompted Maloney’s course of action?
“There wasn’t some crazy fight that resulted in this,” she says.
“It was my decision, which was probably the hardest and most painful decision I’ve ever had to make.
“But [it was] the best and only way I can describe it is just waking up and having this voice that just became louder and louder.
“[Also] just events in my life and in our relationship coming into focus and feeling the weight of them on me.”
On the podcast, Maloney kept returning to theme of having to put herself first — at last.
“I had really prioritized Tom, our relationship and our future and wanted to plan for that so badly. But I didn’t often prioritize myself or my happiness.
“That was really what was weighing on me.
“I love being with him. But ultimately, I was just not fulfilled and there’s other things that maybe one day I can talk about…
“I just realized that the choice I had to make was to just open up and tell him how I was feeling.”
As both halves of the estranged couple have emphasized, there really aren’t any hard feelings.
“I’m so grateful that we don’t have resentment and animosity,” Maloney said on air.
“It would be truly heartbreaking.
“If we got to a point in our marriage, where there was resentment and anger and we spent a lifetime together and ended up hating one another after that I would be truly heartbroken.”