Drake is something of a divisive figure.
He’s one of the most successful musical artists of the past 20 years in any genre, and yet, he’s also the subject of frequent, unflattering memes.
We’re sure he’s used to it by now, but the latest news about the Canadian crooner is sure to result in some of the most brutal roastings of his career.
Of course, if there’s any truth to this story, then Drizzy is no stranger to intense heat.
According to a now-viral Instagram post, a model is planning to sue Drake after a night of consensual intercourse took a bizarre turn after the springs stopped squeaking.
The post, which first appeared on the Too Much Tea Instagram page describes in detail how this random hookup got hot in all the wrong ways.
According to the anonymous model, she and Drake became acquainted on social media a few weeks ago, and they met up at a party shortly thereafter.
It wasn’t long before they headed back to his place and had sex, which she described in detail when talking to Too Much Tea:
“She said he’s about 7 inches, thick, and cut. They f-cked for about 20 minutes. He mostly hit it from the back and eventually came inside the condom,” Too Much Tea writes.
“Immediately after, he went back into the bathroom to dispose of it.”
At that point, the model went into the bathroom herself, untied the condom, and attempted to impregnate herself with Drake’s sperm.
She was in for a rather spicy surprise, however, as it seems the rapper had filled the condom with hot sauce in order to safeguard against this very chicanery.
“She said it felt like pouring hot lava into her p-ssy,” Too Much Tea writes, essentially shutting down the contest for “funniest journalistic sentence of 2022” in early January.
“She screamed, and Drake ran into the bathroom. He admitted that he poured a packet of hot sauce in the condom to kill the sperm,” the outlet continued.
“Now the Instagram model is threatening to sue Drake.”
Drake hasn’t responded to the model’s claims directly, but some fans think he threw a bit of mild shade her way with his most recent Instagram post:
“You can have your 15 minutes of fame…I’ll take the other 23 hours and 45 mins,” he captioned the photo above.
But as much as Drizzy might want this story to simply go away, the internet, as you might have guessed, is having a field day with it.
The memes have been coming in hot (pun fully intended) ever since this story broke, and they probably won’t be slowing down anytime soon.
After all, Drake has always been one of our culture’s most meme-able figures.
And this is a story about hot sauce and genitals that sounds like something out of an American Pie movie.
It’s a match made in heaven.
And if the Drake tuna sandwich video is any indication, the internet goes wild for any content involving Champagne Papi and food.
Besides, while this story probably isn’t particularly high-larious for the model who burned her hot pocket, it’s a welcome change of pace from the more serious stories about Toronto’s favorite son.
Currently, Drake is being sued for $750 million for his involvement in the tragedy at Travis Scott’s Astroworld music festival.
The rapper had nothing to do with planning or organizing the event, so the case will probably be thrown out of court.
Still, he’s probably happy to see Twitter obsessing over a much more frivolous lawsuit.
Hopefully, he’ll address this matter directly and let the world know if he’s a Frank’s or Tabasco guy.